Family

8 things to do before you give your baby up for adoption

December 23, 2016

 

There’s nothing wrong with deciding to give your child up for adoption. Perhaps you’re not ready to be a mother. Or maybe you’re simply not in a position to offer the child the best life possible. Whatever your reasons, it’s a big decision. And it’s not always easy.

So, if you’re planning on giving your baby up for adoption, here are eight things you should do while you’re still pregnant to make the whole thing easier for you.

Be certain

This is important. If you have doubts, you need to seriously think about them. Go through everything in your head and be sure before you make your decision. You have time and no one should rush you. But you must be certain before giving a baby up for adoption. There’s no going back. Of course, there is a time period where you can change your mind. But that could really hurt the adoptive parents if the child is already in their care. When you give a child up for adoption, you’re not only dealing with your own emotions but also the emotions of the adoptive parents.

Make sure your loved ones know about your decision

You’re probably going to need a lot of support. And once you start showing, you don’t want your family expecting you to keep the child when you don’t intend to do so. Tell those nearest and dearest to you so they can counsel you through your pregnancy and the process of adoption. You need to be around people who love you. Which brings us to the next point.

Stay clear of people who disagree with your decision

There will most likely be people who don’t think you’re making the right decision. But that’s their opinion and you shouldn’t let them have a say in your future. You know what’s best for you. And during your pregnancy, you should stay clear of all negativity and judgment. This is about you and your life. You shouldn’t be made to feel bad about what you’re doing and you shouldn’t have to deal with other people’s opinions.

Take care of your body as well as the baby

Just because you don’t plan on keeping the baby, it doesn’t mean you don’t have to care for it while it’s still growing in your body. You should eat right, rest and stay away from harmful substances. Even though you won’t be raising the child, you still want it to be born healthy. You also want to keep your body safe as problems during pregnancy can affect you as well. Read books and articles on pregnancy to keep up to date with the latest developments and research.

Choose the type of adoption you want

Do you want an open or closed adoption? Would you like to meet the adoptive parents? Do you want them to send you photographs and letters as the child grows up? Or would you rather never meet them and not know any of the details. Whichever you choose, it’s up to you. Once again, you know what is best for you and your future. Don’t let anyone talk you into doing something you don’t want to do. This needs to be on your terms.

Approach adoption agencies

Have a look at adoption agencies in Durban, Cape Town and Gauteng. Don’t just go with the first agency you find. Speak to people who’ve dealt with them before. You need to make sure the adoption process goes as smoothly as possible – for both you and the adoptive parents. You don’t want this to turn into a traumatising experience for either you or the child.

Avoid all thoughts of a future with the child

If you’re certain about giving the baby up for adoption, you need to stop yourself from thinking of the alternatives. Even if you’re dead sure about what you’re going to do, you may be tempted to daydream about a life where you keep the child. This will only end badly. By imagining a life with the child you’re giving up, you’re bonding with the idea of the child. It’ll probably make the separation after birth more difficult than it needs to be.

Prepare yourself for giving birth

Forget everything you’ve been going through during your pregnancy. Giving birth will most likely be worse. It’s known to be incredibly painful and could take hours. So, you need to prepare. This is going to be very taxing on your body and you need to know how you’re going to deal with it. Are you going to take something for the pain? Or are you going to do it completely naturally? Many people think having a C-section takes away a lot of the pain but it will take much longer for you to recover and get back to your life.

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