8 things to help you get through a divorce

December 23, 2016

Divorce is never easy. It’s not just that the process is complicated, it’s also that it’s an emotional experience for everyone involved. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, permanently ending a partnership is draining.

If you’re recently divorced, chances are you’re hurting quite badly at the moment. To be honest, you’re probably a wreck. Even though things may have become bad at the end, you’re still ending a partnership you thought would last forever. And that’s always difficult. But you will get through it.

Once you’ve been through the divorce process in South Africa – from meeting with divorce lawyers to signing the divorce papers – you’ll finally have time to grieve. And that’s when things will become even harder for you. So, if you’ve recently got a divorce, here are eight things you can do to help you get through this sad time.

Throw out the junk

The best way to clear your head is to clear out your home. It’s time to get rid of all the junk you’ve accumulated over the years. This exercise isn’t about throwing out all your ex’s belongings or the things that remind you of them. It’s about you, your life and what you need (and don’t need). Get some boxes and go through your house room by room, closet by closet, and think twice about everything you own. If you haven’t worn it in the past year, chuck it. If it needs to be fixed but you haven’t bothered in more than six months, chuck it. Most importantly, if it doesn’t bring you any joy, chuck it.

Move your living space

If you’re still in the same home you previously shared with your partner, it’s time to get moving. No, you don’t have to sell the entire property or rent a new flat. All you have to do is move into another room. And if that’s not possible, then you should at least move the furniture around. Move the bed to the other side of the room or reposition the couch. Just make the space feel new.

Allow yourself to cry

Crying doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t mean you’re not over your ex. It doesn’t even mean you miss them. It simply means you’re sad because a big part of your life is no longer there. You need to grieve. Not for the person but for the life you thought you’d share together. Let yourself cry. And then wash the tears away, blow your nose and start living again.

Spend time with loved ones

Your friends and family are there to support you through difficult times. And what’s more difficult than going through a divorce? So, let them be there for you and accept their love and comfort. Remind yourself you’re not an inconvenience to them and they won’t reject you for being a downer. It’s a rough time for you and if they truly care, they’ll want to be there.

Start a hobby

You need to stay busy and keep your mind occupied. You may be tempted to throw yourself into your work but you can’t give up on having a personal life. Things have changed at home and you need to adapt. Without your ex, you’ll find you have a lot more free time. Use this time to start a new hobby, whether it’s taking a dance class or learning a new language.

Get away for a bit

You need to get out of your comfort zone. Right now you’re surrounded by things that remind you of your ex and the life you used to live. Going away for a bit can help you clear your head and get a fresh perspective on what’s happening to you. At very least, you’ll have a little fun and experience something new.

Change your routine

Your life has changed and your routine should change along with it. Stop going to the same old restaurant and find a new grocery store. It could be something as simple as choosing a new route to work or waking up at a different time. Your old routine will always remind you of your old life with your ex. Shaking things up will give you the opportunity to start fresh with a new mindset.

Concentrate on your health

Now is the time to get fit and focus on your health. Take up a sport or join the local gym, just get active. This is a great way to meet new people while doing something positive for yourself. It’s also a productive way to rid yourself of all your frustrations.

At the end of the day, you knew the divorce wasn’t going to be easy. You were aware that times would be tough following the breakup of your family. But you probably couldn’t predict exactly how bad it would get. So do these eight things and you’ll slowly heal.  

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