Things are going well but should you and your partner move in together? To some people moving in together is the kind of proof of love and commitment that can only be bested by a sparkling diamond ring. To other people it is a sure way to kill the flame of passion. To other still it might simply be a matter of economics: cooking for two is more efficient in the long run.
This is a weighty question with many factors to consider. To help you get to the right decision for you and your partner, ask yourself these questions.
Who is paying for what?
One of the most important matters of moving in together is that of money. It might not be a romantic notion, but financial matters very often affect the success or failure of a relationship.
If you are thinking of moving in together you need to have a very frank discussion about how the finances will work. For instance, will you each pay half the rent? If one person earns more than the other should that person pay more towards rent? Will you have a joint account for household purchases? What if one of you is a spender and the other a saver? Should you buy property together?
Why are we moving in together?
There are many valid reasons to move in together but it is good to be on the same page about it. One of you might think of it as a trial run for marriage while the other might think of it as a convenient way to save on rent.
What happens if we break up?
Nobody wants to acknowledge the possibility but unfortunately it has to be dealt with anyway. Should you break up while living together, what will become of your living situation? Perhaps one person will get first choice of whether to remain in your home and the other person has to find a new home. At this point you will also have to think about whose name will go on the lease and how you will handle shared homeware.
Where should we stay?
Are you going to both move out and find a new place together, or will one of you move in to the other person’s current place? This is more than a matter of logistics. Moving into a new, neutral place together can be a great fresh start. If one of you moves into the other person’s place, however, you might find it difficult to adjust. For instance if your partner moves into your place, you could struggle to stop thinking of it as your place. Make sure you talk this out to prevent any territorial feelings.
Are these questions making you wonder whether you should move in together after all? If there is any doubt, remember that you don’t have to move in together today. You can always reassess six months down the line. As much as you might like the idea of living together, you probably like your relationship with your partner more, so make sure you are doing the right thing for it.